Best facebook status updates

Posted: November 10th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Funny | No Comments »

What to say at a girl via your status:

  • You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there.
  • Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?
  • I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true
  • Are you a magnet cuz im attracted to you
  • Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  • I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.
  • Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
  • Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
  • If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!
  • Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
  • I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?
  • Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice.
  • Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
  • Were your parents Greek Gods, ’cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
  • You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

  • Some bitchy facebook statuses:

  • Ask me if I care, chances are I probably don’t.
  • Love me or hate me, I’m still hitting you with a brick.
  • You only talk behind my back becasue you dont have the balls to say it to my face.
  • Really shouldn’t be surprised that you spread the rumours like you spread your thighs.
  • Has a brilliant sense of humour, just loos at her ex!
  • Heres a condom, wouldn’t want you making the same mistake your mum did.
  • Speaks my mind…becasue it hurts to bite my tongue.
  • I don’t play ‘Hard to get’, I play ‘Never Gonna happen’.
  • Any girl before me is a mistake, and any girl after me is a downgrade.

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