Posted: May 15th, 2011 | Author: wp-admin | Filed under: Misc | Tags: quotes | No Comments »
- All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split… And then one of you die.
- I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!
- Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please save our dog.
- I don’t want your Mom to worry alright? When she worries she starts saying things like ‘I told you so’ or ‘Stop doing that I’m asleep’.
- Gays don’t vomit. They’re a very clean people. And they’ve been that way ever since they came over to this country from France.
- If i had a hole in my throat,i would put pennies in it.
- “I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.”
- He’s tasting victory. I bet it tastes good, like salt-water taffy or a Chunky.
- I’m not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment … and a stomach virus … and an inner ear infection.
- Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint. It’s in my diaper and it’s not a toaster.
- For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!
- Guns don’t kill people; dangerous minorities do.
- What’s this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my God,that’s better than sex!
- As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living. So we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.
- Tonight there’s a new reality show on Fox: “Fast Animals, Slow Children.”