Homer Simpson quotes for facebook

Posted: November 8th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Misc | No Comments »

  • When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
  • Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  • I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
  • [Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
  • What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
  • Marge, you’re as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  • The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
  • When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.
  • I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
  • Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.
  • But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
  • I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.
  • Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
  • That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!
  • Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
  • If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing
  • To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems!
  • I want to share something with you – the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, ‘cover for me.’Number two, ‘oh, good idea, boss. ‘Number three, ‘it was like that when I got here.
  • Marge, you’re as pretty as Princess Leah and as smart as Yoda.
  • Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. ‘Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population : you.
  • Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose : it’s how drunk you get.
  • Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else – and it hasn’t – it’s that girls should stick to girls’ sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
  • We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?
  • Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I’m coming home loaded.
  • Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

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